Sleepwalkers

A sense of motivation lost in translation,

carrying a burden of someone else's past.

Render the results until a mangled

piece of newsprint juts out the other end.

Disguised as good news,

it trembles with words of imperfections

that lead groups into political rooftops,

shouting irrelevant material to people

whose purpose relates to truth and not bended words.

A screech for help protrudes,

so it's muffled and fed with stimulants & downers,

which leads the individual back in line

with fellow sleepwalkers.

A slip-up catches an eye,

then questioning comes into play.

But this is not playing at all:

it's a dig at the heart,

so far that we actually question who we really are.

Thinking we're doomed to a tortured life

filled with numbness & disappearing words.

Secret crowds form in warm, loving places

to awaken the sleeping.

iridescent

I see you as a translucent container

awaiting to illuminate and occupy

every corner you created in your mind.

Yet I ponder on when you will flip the switch

to discover the magnificence which glows

to the ends of the universe,

creating & sharing a whisper of secrets

without ever saying a word.

But I shall never worry because

a choice deserves its own space,

even if you need to arrive anew

in another life to hopefully create a new path,

which involves remembering the soul.

Honestly, I lost the feeling of being unconscious

because all I know now is

the graceful goosebumps that ripple down my meridians

through each devoted laugh, sigh, and breath.

With light playing a most unusual instrument within me,

I literally become the music to orchestrate

a oneness in consciousness.

The world: my symphony,

and although some strings may be missing,

the band is still complete.

Everyone sings on their own pedestal occupying the stage,

even you my dear,

your voice equally compares to other vocals.

So channel your deepest feelings and send them

into the light where all misconceptions become one thing,

but not even a thing: NO THING

Nothing.

My Place

My favorite place is not a place at all,

it's a space I grew inside myself,

to break down all the walls.

Far from logic, close to bliss,

here is where heaven and earth collide,

tangled in a kiss.

Light

I hear the sound of violins pulsing through my veins...
the only way I know how to explain
this twirling ride of captivation,
a moment where time does not exist.
I recognize my being as I step into that space
of becoming my new self,
a place where separation cannot exist,
and I am God: loving myself through an endless cycle.

No more cravings, no more pain.
My body trembles to hold this much joy.
And through the light we dance,
swirling to no end.

Treasures

Contemplation sits upon a dusty shelf,

do I need this, do I not?

Watching personalities change from booth to booth

makes me realize how free I am:

able to appreciate each treasure,

yet let it stay on its shelf.

posters galore!

heh heh heh

A house for faeries?

Tea party hat

"Yes, yes, I do concur. hmm hmm"

cha-ching!

Where YOU from?

Elvis wall

good ol' bobby

an antique Indian doll

I love this booth

even a grump knows how to smile

Barbie "Friend Ship"

Nobody puts Alf in the corner!

Pirate Treasure

If my heart was an ocean,
then you skipped beautiful rocks
upon my waters,
only to sink into forgetfulness:
A weary vastness I buried
under sand & treasure chests
that I do not dare explore,
for the shore calls lovingly
while I answer with the grace of my hand,
then my toes quickly follow.
Beginning to run now,
from the emotions of blue
with strands of fake pearls
pirated from your false façade.
Climbing vertically now into pure gold
with promises of nothingness--suchness.
Your pirate eyes longed for my treasure within,
but possessions lose identity in my realm.
Here your personality melts into the tears
that unanchored from your your ship: your vessel: your body.
Sails fly high once the waves become calm:
the irony of life.
A reflection surfaces,
unveiling the other side of emotion: stillness--
receiving & accepting
each drop, touch & rock
skipping across itself.

Love on High: High on Love

Linking two worlds together
by infusing brains with odd topics
that each individual digs deep to understand.
Along fears of rejection
lies a toast to inner freedom
after reassurances stable the pair,
shifting their intentions from fear to faith.
Faith in the luminosity
of a relationship sailing on potential
crystallizing into foreverness.
Standing in compassion,
shaded from tortures & sufferings
that confuse the brain,
which hang around with disconnection:
a crowd that contracts
the development of expansive love.
After meeting, the two souls
are forever tangled in the magic web,
infinitely expanding to heights
resting under showers of goose bumps,
penetrating the overflow of joy,
becoming tears exiting gracefully
because their bodies cannot
hold happiness at this level.
Knowing each other: knowing themselves.
Calling each other their home.

Selfish to Selfless: The Crown of Surrendering

Pick & choose,
Labeling characters-
encompassing the little self,
only happy for a short while
until the sparkles unglue
from materials shining in your closet
left to become dull
in an abyss of self loathing
amongst other wasted tools.
Fear grows long, skinny legs,
just like Jack Skellington,
and he tip toes:
a self created monster
awakening in the mind
of the scared & unhappy
who never gave thanks,
but ended up with leather & gold.
Filling their veins
until the sun appears again,
only to shun sunlight away,
crawling helplessly into torn beds:
sleeping away opportunities
to meet themselves again.
Instead, alarms awake their night
as a stupor substitutes
the introduction of true self,
craving to meet Falseness:
a personality which paces midnight rooftops
and stumbles through trash cans
that possess its own stench.
He needs his own nightlight,
one his mother cannot even plug in.
The cord will come in time,
linking itself to a reason to change,
knocking whiskey bottles over
& down the drain along the way.
Only a clear mind leaves on the journey
that follows the cord.
The mind must pack nothing:
the body wearing only a white robe
to detach from personality characteristics.
No more sequins falling,
real magic soars among this high rooftop
located right above his head:
opening a chosen crown for him to wear,
ruling his own Universal Kingdom
encapsulated in a single word: SURRENDER
The skinny-legged fear sprints to the Kingdom door,
enters upward & unveils its beauty.
Now he meets himself once more,
walking into the possibilities of today.

Conundrum of Life

Streaming on ideas-
Careful, don't step on a sharp word:
engulfing your brain.
Tattooed lyrics of everyday routine:
smothering the soul,
stuck in the cassette player,
too wound up to uninstall.
An event of unknown territory
strolls along your bridge of breaking free.
So just jump,
cleanse the illusion in pure waters.
Unfasten the belt,
constricting true creation flowing
into your head.
Construct your own beliefs-
no, wait, delete all you've ever thought to be real.
Reach for a bucket,
intending to be filled with raw experiences,
uplifting you to a higher power
each breath of the way.
Each step of the staircase lies within-
built to perfection,
resting inside your DNA.
Molecules attracting more molecules,
holding you up in oneness: connected.
Beaming outward,
shining in the faces of those who remembered
and those who still forget.
Be still, like the center of a hurricane
while the forgetful ones pry inside,
for they won't succeed.
Open the closet,
casting light through the spiderwebs,
accepting all as beautiful masterpieces-
stringing you together.
And as your hand devours the white tangles,
be grateful for who you've become
in the moment of now.

A Shell Wrapped in Silence

Find the key that pries under her shell
Kiss her past the morning bell
Ring, Ring, Ring
The shadow's calling
..one from his beaten path.
She ripped the carpet from underneath us
where tangled magic lies.
With sparkled dust from some past life,
a part of me dies.
Cause I knew you before all this,
maybe from another realm,
so from afar it's you I'll miss,
sitting beneath the Elm.
The rope keeps our souls tied together
as we play the game tug-of-war,
And in my dreams I saw you there,
which made me crave you even more.
I reached into my pocket
and cut my hand on your sharp word.
I kept those for too long,
wrapped around me like a cord.
So I untied the knot of made-up words
to release the tension,
and then I focused on what you first mentioned.
When we met you favored the angles of my face,
but the most memorable thing you said was,
"I want to help you finish this race".
That race I ran along side my mind,
trying to mesh three parts of one kind.
My mind, body & soul all grew feet of their own,
which layed me into exhaustion,
a bed I slept in all alone.
Endlessly searching among the wrong places
for the right blacksmith to melt me together,
but I found no willing faces.
For how could I when I am my own Queen.
In silence I was Guinevere
holding my gaze in the mirror,
& sent compassion through my lonely eyes,
disintegrating all of society's lies.
Look closely now & you can see
all the power I possess in me.
I found it without King Arthur,
a pearl & the holy grail
all wrapped underneath my shell.
So here I stand among the others
to tell of the secrets I found,
but fear shouts while truth whispers,
so I choose to wait alone.
I sit here & hum
to the others who are completely numb
. .and eventually they will come.

Falling Up

A ball trickles
Wrapped in hard foil
And it lies in the pit of my stomach
I want to set it on fire; I want to punch it to its downfall
Did you fall?
You said you fell for me; your diary trickles with dull black ink
My name traced its pages like a whisper in the loving summer wind
Maybe just one page, one you placed into your pocket before tearing to shreds
But I kept falling, just like Alice, until I “thunked” onto the tile floor
Sank deep against the walls until forming into the installation
At least I kept the walls warm, but you said I couldn’t keep you company for long
I grew brighter, and I pulled myself from the house’s walls
This house of “not good enough’s” was not good enough for me
I crawled upon the ginger root while evacuating the house
I surpassed the pedestal you stood on with your balancing yoga pose
My foot slipped upon an inkwell, which trickled onto your dark face, making it darker
Exposing the inescapable reflection of your surface personality
No longer sparkling in the shimmer of applause you love to bask under
I escaped from the dirty tunnel filled with feelings of others you tossed here and there
The ones you left hanging out to dry with no explanation; just placing a clock in their heart
A ticking clock which beats until their next cry
That tunnel of “what ifs” and “not good enough’s” rang once an hour
Every time they thought of you the whole place shook, and that feeling in my stomach would come back
Their needy hands stretched from here to there, searching to play with your hair
Searching for your face
I slouched there, swaying to and fro with two fingers in my ears
Going back in my mind to the place where you did not exist
A time when my lips did not know yours
Time is who I was waiting for; he showed every so often to pour a bucket into the abyss I dreamed to fill
Time told me I was good enough and he helped me grow
I grew taller on the inside: so tall that I made it passed the weeping willows whose crying leaves tampered with my mind, surfacing the memories of you
Upon my departure, I tightened the screws to the tunnel’s manhole and left that crumpled foil behind
No longer do you sparkle
No longer do they cry
No longer exists a wounded hole
Only certain areas for steam to escape, crawling towards the sky

Special Easter

My niece was peaking through the kitchen after searching for Easter eggs.

Since today was Easter, I decided to make a special raw cheescake for everyone.



Here's how it went:

First, you soak 4 cups of raw cashews overnight



The next day you start with the crust by putting 2 cups pecans into a food processor.



Chop the pecans up into a fine meal


Add 4 Dates
2 tbsp Cacao
Pinch of salt
Mix in food processor until it turns into a ball, then mold around a pie plate
Set the crust in the freezer while you're working on the rest of the cheesecake

Then for the "cheesecake" part:
Add your 4 cups of raw cashews into the food processor (a cup or so at a time)


This cheesecake mixture will get thick:
Add gradually--
1 cup Agave
1 cup raw Cocoa Butter (or coconut oil)
1 cup Water (or less)
1 tsp Vanilla

Add this mixture on top of the crust & make sure there are no air bubbles
Set in the freezer for an hour.

For the ganache:


whisk these ingredients in a warm bowl:
1/2 cup Cacao
1/2 cup raw Cocoa Butter (or coconut oil)
1/4 cup agave
1/4 tsp mint extract

Then pour on top of the cheesecake

This could get messy, so be careful!
The ganache will mold quickly to the top.

Place in the fridge for a while to let the cheesecake soften.
Enjoy!

Expanding Creativity

Ironically (or is it synchronicity?), I came home from studying under Joey Klein, my spiritual teacher, this weekend to find a few pages to read for design, which happened to coincide with what I was taught. My teacher spoke about acknowledging human emotions, and we focused on substituting that emotion for a state of being during our meditation. We also used forgiveness towards others and ourselves, which is important because self worth frees the mind of fears.

Fears seem to rob people of their highest potential, like an artist thinking they will never be good enough to work for their favorite designer. I believe everyone is creative, but not everyone knows they are creative. “Knowing” you’re creative comes first, then “experiencing” creativity comes next, and then “being” creative happens. This requires an open mind. An open mind requires shaping the mind from concrete to play-dough to rid the mind of “the story”, which consists of negative thoughts about yourself and the world around you. The story also becomes a comfortable pattern for the mind, like when an artist/designer believes they are only able to come up with a creative idea at the last minute before deadline, then that’s what happens.

Transforming the mind in an expansive, positive and constructive way comes with altering the mind’s perception of the world, which creates an enlightened mind. Training the mind to be in a state of love eliminates the trap of emotions the mind tends to fall into. From experience I’ve noticed in the past that I would only work on a creative project when strong emotions were present within me, such as breaking up with a boyfriend, or receiving a gift that triggered the “happy” emotion. Now I enjoy waking up early to work on a painting, or adventure out on a photo shoot because I trained my mind to be in a state of joy, love, etc. These states of being turned on the faucet to my creativity, and I noticed many artists and designers are trapped by their emotions, which block the flow of creativity.

I say “happy” and “joy” are different because when someone chases happiness they’re connected to endless desire that can never be met. Happy is an emotion because it’s connected to the ego, which always wants something. The state of joy keeps someone content, no matter what activity or setting they are in, and joy expands the mind rather than contracting. If everyone practiced transforming their mind from emotions to states of being, then I believe they would have the potential of endless creativity.

Distance

I feel you from the inside
Nothing feels real anymore
Real lives within

I see you
Yes I really see you
For what you are
Do you see me?

Flick, flick, light
Light me up inside
That fire grows with your breath
Breathe me in; let me in
Don't think
Can't break this
Please don't look away

His soul walks through me
Layers within his makeup
Deeper now, you've got it
Look past
Just feel

But you begin to shape your eyes
around those wrists and hands
Hands that shape around strings
And strings that sing; sing like angels

Hush.
Draw your thoughts away
I feel the touch of the hand behind my ear
But it's only in my mind; how could I forget?
This blueprint sits dusty within the file cabinet
The file in my head; shut the door again

No strings attached
Only to guitars that get to hold your hand
I'm not afraid to feel

I'm vulnerable in front of this window
Yes, I left the shade down
At least it's not a wall
If your sunshine climbs through,
then I'll take that rock we found
Remember the heart shaped one laying peaceful in the sun?
Its hole exposed expressive possibilities
of what could happen--chained around your neck, or us falling into disaster

Well, I'll throw it so hard through that window
Break now, break, break
Glass will shatter only if your light was true
True like sunbeams that love the earth without conditions
Even through clouds...
Fully exposed, with my heart so true
I will breathe you in without the room full of windows

But your light seemed to be fluorescent,
only becoming on certain areas of my face
This awkwardness makes my stance look funny
And your eyes tend to look away
Thinking of my flaws?
I will not be offended,
for I know I am love..no not loved...
I AM LOVE

Until you realize the gift you can give,
I'll sit so quaint in the sunbeams
that sew its warmth to my fire.